


The Devil Within

by LittlexNightingale



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Porn, Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, F/M, POV First Person, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-25 05:24:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13827399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlexNightingale/pseuds/LittlexNightingale
Summary: Domesticated ghoul Akiyama Mirai tries to be a decent being, living just under the radar of the CCG. She is the Alley Cat of the 20th ward, and is known to be very unpredictable. But this isn't who Mirai is anymore. Forced into the ranks of Aogiri for her past crimes, her resolve comes apart brick by brick in the hands of Kirishima Ayato. Slowly, he will bring out the monster she once was and use her to spread his ideology of power to every ghoul and human in Tokyo.





	1. Top of the Food Chain

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, profit from this story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s). Akiyama Mirai belongs to author LittleXNightingale. Please enjoy.

Early fall to midwinter in Tokyo is my favorite time of the year. It signifies the end of September’s dark and rainy days. The region becomes a work of art – 8 meter tall Magnolia trees line the avenue in deep shades of red, gold, and orange. It’s just so magical. What’s not to love about it? Humans tend to flock here during this time, more than average, because they are taught to believe that they’re in safe hands. But I disagree.

To a starved ghoul like myself, even the rain guarantees an easy meal, but also the risk of investigators. They’ve killed more of my kind than I’d like to admit, but with winter on the approach the Doves are less likely to stick around Nerima for long. The 20th ward is protected, and has been docile for more than ten years now, but as of late, I’ve seen more and more of them roaming around the streets. Could this be because of her?

I bare my teeth at the thought of the binge eater – may she rot – and force myself to enjoy the afternoon as I walk along the empty street to my last stop; a small neighborhood café on the corner. I’m late, but not exactly expected on today.

I take the long way around the shop from the alley and enter through the back door – my usual approach into Anteiku. Being discreet is how I like to live. I’ve been this way since I came to Nerima, always cautious that I don’t draw attention to myself. I assume that years of playing make-believe with the humans has made me this way, and to some degree I’m proud of that. Not exactly the style I like, however.

My ears pick up noise from the galley; a person most likely. I want to surprise Touka this time, as I’m sure she is the one clanking about, however I am certain the teenage girl, keen as she is to my reckless behavior, won’t be shocked in the least. Unexpectedly, I find myself to be the one in awe, coming into the room to see a person from whom I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting before – a young man wearing a medical patch over his left eye. Ken Kaneki, I’ve been told.

Rumors tend to spread like wild fire across each of the twenty-three wards when relating to ghouls, but I will admit, getting to set eyes on the most talked about person in the ghoul community – in addition to the fabled one-eyed owl – is much better than what Itori has told me.

He’s thinner than I pictured; a lot weaker in contrast to a natural ghoul, but he smells mouthwatering.

I wet my lips, chapped from the cool air outside and resolve to introduce myself to him. My heart pumps in excitement. This sentiment I’m feeling is something from my past. It’s the thrill of hunting, I suppose.

Carefully as to not let my presence be known, I tip toe closer to him and ready myself to pounce. Kaneki has his back to me, busy with folding up a fleece blanket that he positions over his left arm. Beneath his right, he steadies an empty serving dish that suggests customers in the room behind the door with the _staff only_ sign hanging from it. Caution is key; to not alert and danger myself or the human patrons while I have my fun is the inner goal of this mission.

I spring into action only when Kaneki makes a move for the door, curving my slender arms around his neck and shoulders. As a precaution to prevent him from making a scene I place my hand over his mouth. He mumbles something in objection, but I pay him no attention. Instead I offer him a gentle laugh as an indication of no hostility towards him.

“Good evening, Eyepatch,” I purr. “Please excuse my informality, but I just had to come and meet you.”

One thing I have come to expect from someone of the opposite sex is when stuck in a situation where they must deal with a conflicting force such as a woman, they tend to misplace their good judgment. But in Kaneki’s instance, his body goes to a standstill and tenses up. He feels to be at odds with my embrace, perhaps because I am a ghoul and he can smell it. I too am aware of his kind.

The anxiety I can taste makes his sweet scent amplify beyond good sense. I smell the weak but pleasant aroma of fear seep through his pores and succumb to my nature as a ghoul. What harm can be done from just a taste?

Burying my nose in his soft, black tresses, a rough sigh escapes my lips. He smells even better like this; a blend of alluring scents that in words are hard to describe. I’ve never encountered anything like Kaneki before, but while in joy as I may be, I also feel the unrefined pain of hunger twisting in my gut. This feeling is without a doubt indescribable, but even so I know the after-effects of eating the flesh of my own kind – I am a living product of this. I take away my arms from his figure and step in front of him, brushing my shoulder with his as I pass.

“Don’t be alarmed. I didn’t come here to hurt you,” I assure him upon meeting his apprehensive stare. How could I blame him? I did just attack him out of the blue and in theory admit my intentions to him. Complicated as this situation may be, I applaud him for his patience.

His eyes stay focused on me, but they increase noticeably with uncertainties I suspect he will want answered. Instead he resolves to be an idiot, rubbing beneath his chin with a fake edginess to his expression. “I’m sorry miss, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice weakens; concern for his own well-being. Or is it concern for the humans in the next room?

The corner of my lips sink into a frown. “Worried? There is nothing for you to be worried about, Kaneki-kun. I already told you of my intentions.”

“You said that you needed to come and meet me,” he restates my words. His voice weakens. “What did you want to see me for?”

“Who doesn’t?” I admit. His apprehension shakes me to the bone. I’m not sure this boy knows how delicious he looks scared. I hum a happy tune beneath my breath while I try to think of how to start. Kaneki is tolerant at least, waiting on me to give him a better explanation. He watches me prance in circles in front of him, swaying my arms from side to side until I decide to speak. At last a smile curls at my lips as I hum in approval. I spin on my heels and face him. “First, sorry about the scare. It wasn’t my intention, but when I saw you standing there I couldn’t help myself.”

“I wasn’t scared,” he tries to lie.

“No need to lie, Kaneki-kun. I can smell it on you.” To make my point across I sniff the air, taking in the richness of coffee with a sigh of satisfaction. I enjoy teasing the shy, young man. His face tints a lovely shade of red that brings a smile to my face.

I allow myself the chance to look at him more closely as I wait for the tension to die down. Kaneki appears pale, more than usual I note. It suggests his well-being is unbalanced, worrying me into thinking that he has something weighing on his mind other than his recent predicament. I heard from Itori that he clings to his human self still, but even I know his body has adjusted to the organs taken from the binge eater, making human food intolerable to him. I wonder if he starves himself, somehow wishing that his other side will take dominance. For his sake, I hope so, but I know better.

“Secondly, what I said earlier was a lie. I didn’t actually come here to meet you, but I have heard mention of you from Itori,” I admit. “I can be eccentric at times, but I’m sure you’ve heard all about me as well. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I give him a quick turn-of-the-head smile in hopes of breaking the ice between us.

A moment later, within the dead of silence I hear him breathe deeply. Maybe he is off the defense. Now that I think about it, I would like to have seen his kagune up close and personal. Word is, he inherited it from Rize.

Kaneki returns the smile. “Mirai, right?” I nod to confirm his question. His body seems to relax at this. “Yeah, I’ve heard about you from Touka. Unpredictable is more of the word she used to describe you though.”

“Unpredictable you say?” I lift a brow.

“N-Not a bad sort of unpredictable,” he stutters. “She says you’re very friendly, even to strangers. I guess I mucked that up, didn’t I?”

I giggle at his nervous tone. From the way that he acts, I’d almost guess he doesn’t know very many females aside from Touka. I can’t imagine how her sour attitude has lead him to befriend her so quickly. It took me years to accomplish what he already has in just a few months.

“It’s quite alright.”

After our brief and rather informative engagement, Kaneki allows me to lead us into the main room where the coffee is brewed. Immediately I come to a standstill, eyes wide in child-like wonder and mind rolling with questions at the site that lay out before me. Touka stands against the bar, arms linked beneath her chest, holding a glare at a man’s body that lays passed out on the floor. 

“Who’s ass did you kick this time, Touka?”

She gives me a glare. “What makes you think I had anything to do with this?”

I was right; she’s not surprised. However, I am. The shy, young man before me is responsible for this? 

“No way! Kaneki-kun beat this guy up?”

“It was an accident,” he retorts in defense. “He was acting crazy, thinking that I was dating Rize, then attacked me. My reflexes sort of kicked in and I defended myself. I didn’t mean to knock him out.” His pale cheeks dusted with a shade of pink.

I am speechless. This guy is out cold. Impressive, but regardless of the scenario that played out moments before I walked through the door, true or not, Yoshimura-san is sure to be unimpressed. There is an unconscious ghoul in his café, not to mention a rag-tag group of heathens in masks, nonchalantly drinking coffee as if nothing had ever transpired.

“So who is this guy anyway?” Directing my question to Touka, she pinches the bridge of her nose in annoyance and sends a cold glare at the three sitting at the table.

“Ghouls from the 11th ward. They came here thinking that Rize would be here,” she answers. With a brief pause I assume she knows my next question before I have time to ask it. The despondent look that pales my face must have tipped her off. “They don’t know yet. Kaneki is planning to tell the big guy when he wakes up.” Her eyes slide closed.

“I see. Nevertheless, I feel bad for him.” Obviously, he cared for her; the 11th ward is such a long trip to take just to see the lavender haired woman. Too bad she died not long back. Poor Kaneki has much to explain.

“So what are you doing here anyway?” Touka’s question interrupts my thoughts. I nudge the guy with my foot and brush a lock of black hair behind my ear.

“I came to help out around the café. Mr. Yomo called me earlier, told me Yoshimura-san and he were on important business and thought Kaneki-kun and you could use the help,” I answer.

“If you’re busy, don’t worry about it. I’ve got things covered for the rest of the shift.”

I snort in laughter. “It’s fine. As of right now I don’t have any odd jobs to run so I thought it wouldn’t be so bad to catch up with childhood friends. Kind of reminds me of back in the day, you know?”

Touka gives me a gentle smile. I’m happy she remembers those times, even if they were sometimes dark.

“You’re going to need a uniform then. Should be a clean one in my closet that will fit you.”

I rock back on my feet, and suddenly remember that Hinami is usually here. Since her mother and father were killed, she has been living in the guest room upstairs. “You don’t mind if I check up on Hinami while I’m at it, do you? Is she here?”

“Be my guest,” Touka replies frankly.

“Thanks birdie.” She brushes off my playful taunt with a wave of her hand. I laugh and saunter up the stairs, heading for Touka’s bedroom.

The door is unlocked, so I enter quickly and move over to the closet. Just as she told me, a spare uniform is hanging out for me. Taking a second to admire Touka’s street clothing, I dress in the plain colored uniform – after rummaging through the dresser across the room for a pair of stockings – and leave the room. Hinami is in the spare next to Touka; a room I use to call my own for a brief time. I gently tap my knuckles across the bedroom door and clear my throat.

“Hinami, it’s Mirai. Mind if I come in?”

A minute or two later, the door opens and a bright pair of brown eyes stare up at me. “Mirai, you came to visit,” she says happily. Hinami allows me into her room, and takes a seat on the couch in the living area. Piles of books and a chunk of half-eaten meat are on the coffee table. I must have caught her in the middle of lunch.

My stomach whines in protest, but I ignore it and sit next to her. “I said I would, didn’t I? Reading I see. Which book?”

“Still the same one as before. I’ve read it several times now, but I can’t seem to put it down. Plus, Kaneki is teaching me a few new words every day. Guess what I learned?”

“Enlighten me,” I say with a smile.

Books are not my idea of fun. While living in Bunkyou, I never really had time to read. But seeing Hinami so excited about learning makes it hard for me to be uninterested. She never went to school, much like myself, but she is at least self-taught.

The young teen lets out a gentle laugh and opens up her notepad, flipping to a page with only a few hand-written notes on it. “I learned the meanings of limerence and paroxysm. Can you guess what they mean?”

Honestly I have no idea. I shake my head.

“Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one’s feelings reciprocated,” she explains. I see, infatuated love. “Paroxysm is a sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity. It’s like a burst of laughter when something is funny.” Or a fit of ravenous hunger.

I scratch my neck a little too hard. The sudden pain makes me flinch. “W-What type of books is Kaneki-kun letting you read?” It sounds like smut to me; adolescent angst maybe.

“Have you heard of Sen Takatsuki? It’s a short story collection by her, called Monochrome Rainbow.” The horror novelist? I know of her. I hum in agreement.

Hinami does not break into topic about the author, but goes into reading as I sit and relax a moment. I could return to the bottom floor, but the confrontation between Kaneki and the ghouls from the 11th ward is really none of my business. Instead, I resolve to sit here with Hinami until they’re done. I lean my head back onto the frame of the couch and sigh in relief. This is nice; seeing old friends again.

The hum of the ceiling fan is the only noise I hear for a while, which is unusual to me. There are no voices. No screams of anger, nor cries of sadness. The café is silent as a grave. I strain to listen for the thread of conversation, but I hear nothing, apart from the sound of Hinami squirming about anxiously next to me.

The brunette sighs in what sounds like discomfort. “Mirai, I smell blood. It’s faint, but I think it’s coming from downstairs.”

“Are you certain?” Hinami doesn’t have to answer, because soon enough I smell it too. The fear is intoxicating. It smells like Kaneki. But something is off about it. The scent is everywhere, almost like his blood is scattered across the walls. “Sit tight for a bit. Lock the door and don’t open it unless Touka or I tell you otherwise,” I order the teen, clearing the saliva from the corners of my mouth. I turn to look at her. “Promise me.”

Hinami is hesitant, but a sudden raise in my voice gets her to agree. Hastily I stand, making my way across the room with cautious steps. The door barely makes a sound as I open it and little by little slip out into the hall. I hear it immediately, clear as bells.

The hum of voices fill my ears. They speak quietly, but viciously to one another. As I close the gap between the stairwell and the doorway, I peak through a thin opening and see three additional figures in the parlor – their scent is like mine. The smell of blood and gutter filth masks my advance.

The closest to me, in front of the bar is a boy around my age. He dresses like a stubborn teenager in all black with long, messy hair. Strangely enough, he bares a striking resemblance to Touka. However, the rough-looking image he carries pales in comparison to the man in white.

This man – if he can be described as such – is an animal. His size is enormous, but his actions are what shake me to the bone. Kaneki’s blood is all over him; all over the floor and the walls. But, his arm is shoved into the stomach of the third man – or woman. He dresses very elaborately for a man, wearing pink lipstick and colorful clothing. His reaction to the fist in his stomach borders on arousal, which incites a gag from me. How can he enjoy this?

At this time, Touka tries to attack the man in white. But, the teenager who resembles her jumps in the way. Touka has no time to dodge his punch while she’s in midair and gets knocked to the floor.

“You’re so weak, Touka. Just like dad,” he tells her. So he’s her brother. I remember her mentioning she had family somewhere, but I never would have expected him to be a ruthless brat.

His words seem to anger Touka, because she brings out her kagune. I watch as she attacks him, but it doesn’t hit. He blocks at close range with a hardened kagune, much like the sort Touka has power over. A single vermilion wing on both his shoulders effortlessly outshines the single extension his sister uses against him. He’s beautiful like this. I can’t help but to stare.

His kagune whips open and shoots crystalized bullets at her. Touka is hit by them, and staggers to the floor in pain. Her clothing and skin are torn and covered in blood. I’ve never seen her like this before. It makes me sick.

My heart begins to race and my blood boils. Touka doesn’t deserve this. Before I have time to think, I dash out from behind the door and leap over the bar; the focus of my retaliation being on the blue haired ghoul in question. Along with the power of my swing I activate my kakuja, which clads my body in armor. A black steel-like glove from my double bikaku covers my hands; the nails razor sharp.

I coil back my fingers and slash at the teenage boy, slicing three long gashes into his cheek. Quite a few strands of his silky, blue hair are cut in the process, but I manage not to remove his head. This form is impossible to control, but I am able to make it revert back into the bikaku type it once had been. However, I feel exhausted and have to stop using it. My kagune deteriorates and I am left without a weapon. I shouldn’t have put off eating for so long.

What do I expect to do now?

The feminine-like ghoul whistles. “Was that a bikaku kakuja you just used? Not bad, sweetheart. I’m afraid it needs some work, however.”

He’s right; I didn’t do much to Touka’s brother. I did manage to piss him off though. He sizes my wrist, pulling me toward him and off balance. His knee slams into my stomach and with no time to flex my muscles I get the extensive force of his kick. My insides feel literally like they’ve been knocked into an unnatural position, sending pain to every nerve in my torso.

As I struggle to breathe, the teen curls his slender fingers around the tresses of my disheveled hair and pulls at the roots. I cry out in discomfort as he forces me to meet his heated stare. Like Touka, he carries the same harsh look that I am unable to hold.

“Don’t you idiots ever get tired of being weak?” To make his point, I feel his short, filed-down nails dig into my scalp, inciting another feeble cry from me. His lips bend into a menacing smirk at this. “I could do you a favor and put you out of your misery. What do you think about this?”

“Bite me,” I hiss. Me and my big mouth.

His expression contorts into a sort of teeth baring sneer made only by predators as a precursor to more serious aggression, and like the sudden strike of a venomous pit viper he latches his sharp incisors into my upper shoulder, tearing at my flesh. The pain in intolerable.

This situation feels strangely ironic to me. I’ve made a meal of humans and ghouls my whole life, some alive as I ate them and some already dead, but I for one have never known the discomfort of my own nature. The strong survive, the saying goes. I am not strong; a point this superior ghoul makes clear to me as he satisfies his irritation with my flesh and blood as the release.

The coffee shop fills with my screams of protest and whether the ghoul tires of hearing them, or takes pity on me I’m not for certain, but he frees his mouth from me with a wet smack and spits my blood from his mouth.

“You taste horrible,” he snaps.

The man in white cracks his fingers. “Finish this up, Ayato. We don’t have time to play.”

Ayato rolls his eyes. “That’s rich coming from you, bastard.” He dangles me around like a rag doll as he says this. However, like he’s asked to do, he ends our little game. Ayato lifts me onto my feet and kicks me into the wall.

My body hits the floor with a dull thud. I lie on my side, struggling to breath and unable to move. I am thankful for what comes next. The teen ignores my broken body and goes on about his business as if I’m a bug he simply squashed beneath his boot. The blood in me begins to boil, but my kagune doesn’t come to my aide. I’m too tired to even fight back. Ayato is right; I’m simply weak.

They have Kaneki with them, slack as a corpse over the shoulder of the brute. His clean, white suit is stained in the boy’s blood, but seems to be electrified by the notion as he leaves the shop with him. What kind of man walks around proud of the blood on his garments?

One by one, they leisurely file out of the café; toy soldiers to their own measure. The strongest go first, then Banjou and his three followers. I bury my face into the crook of my arm like the coward I am. Some ghoul I turned out to be. The sad thing is, I allowed them to take Kaneki away without much of a fight. In a heap of broken bones and torn flesh I squeeze my eyes shut until darkness consumes me at last.


	2. Family

I wake up and immediately know that several of my bones are fractured. My weak and tired body is in terrible pain. I can’t even take a deep breath without coughing. This is the single worse day of my life.

It’s safe to assume that at least three of my ribs are broken. My shoulder feels like fire is coursing through the wound, but other than those problem areas, I feel all right. The comfy bed I’m in seems almost familiar to me, and once I see the cheap glow in the dark stars on the ceiling I know that I am at Anteiku. This is the spare bedroom; my old humble abode.

It somewhat feels weird to be here after so many years. I don’t belong in this world, but I also don’t want to give it up so easily. I need to leave before I decide to cling on to this chapter of my past – a more beautiful story worth remembering. With caution and ease, I pull myself into a position where I am able to sit up. I immediately regret this decision because of the pain, but I don’t care. I need to eat and strengthen this fragile body.

The bedroom door comes open, startling me to the point of nearly activating my kagune. I sigh in relief once I realize that Touka is the one who enters. She carries a plate of bloody meat with her, and a cup of rich smelling coffee. This instantly makes my mouth water. I want it, but I don’t want to seem eager, so I sit back and wait for her to come further into the room. She seems to stagger a little as she moves, probably from her recent wounds.

As Touka sits the plate and cup onto the table next to me, she gives me an unhappy glare. “You’ve not been eating. That explains why your wounds haven’t healed yet.”

“I don’t wish to depend on Anteiku to help me,” I admit with a sigh. Sooner or later, someone might notice. There’s no reason to keep it a secret any longer. “Hunting for food has become a problem for me. I want more than I should, and I’m afraid I might go berserk again.”

I know that Touka wants to ask me about it more, but she seems more concerned with something other than me at this time. She sits down on the side of my bed, keeping her head low. I wonder if she’s concerned about Kaneki’s disappearance. I too hope he’s alive.

“Has he been found?”

She shakes her head. “No, but Yomo is looking for clues as to where those bastards took him. Anteiku has been shut down for a while. That’s about all you’ve missed.”

I see, so no good news. I lean over and take the plate in my hands. Might as well eat. I need the strength, so maybe I can be of use to Anteiku.

“Is there anything else?” I feel like there might be. I still don’t know were I fit into all this. Obviously, the old man knows about my problem – Touka must have told him.

“Yoshimura has allowed you to stay until you feel better, but he wants to speak with you once you’ve eaten,” Touka answers, confirming my question. She looks at me with a scowl and continues. “I can’t believe you would use it. Yoshimura made it clear that you shouldn’t unless you learn to control it.”

I give her a gentle smile. “I didn’t even think about it. Seeing you like that made me act without consequence. I’ll be ready to accept whatever punishment he gives me, but I’d do it again, just to help you.”

Touka pouts her lips. “That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Mirai.”

I chuckle and eat my lunch. The room goes silent at this time. The blue-haired teen is terrible at hiding her grief. I know she’s been thinking about her brother. She’s a good sibling. I can’t imagine her not caring for him, even though he turned out to be a brat.

“So, the punk. Ayato, was it? That’s your little brother?”

Touka twitches as I ask this. She bobs her head, but doesn’t say anything.

“He sure has one hell of a kick,” I mention while shoving a fork full of meat into my mouth. Bright red drops of blood dribble from my lips. “They kind of reminded me of yours. Hurt like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Idiot,” Touka says with a smile. “Next time don’t interfere, if you’re just going to complain about it.”

“Trust me, I won’t. I’ll leave the butt kicking to you. Brat needs it,” I reply.

Touka agrees with a nod.

* * *

 

After I have my lunch, Touka gives me a pair of clean clothes to change into. She walks with me to where Yoshimura is waiting. We enter the room, and I take a seat on the couch in front of him. He allows Touka to stay, mentioning that this meeting will involve her. She choses to lean against the wall as we wait for Yoshimura to begin.

“Is it true that you used an ascended kagune to fight Kirishima Ayato?”

Right to business, as expected. I admit to using it, explaining to him the exact thing I had told Touka. He looks to her for approval, which she gives.

“Very well,” he says with a gentle smile. “I appreciate you telling me the truth, but I must know what it was like. Please, tell me how you felt.”

“Tired, actually. I couldn’t keep it under control,” I explain. It felt like I could be consumed by it; the madness. But, it also felt good. The power surging through me had been a reminder of the strength I once held. “I was able to deteriorate it, but I assume part of the reason was because I am too weak to contain it.”

“Might I remind you that you swore to me you’d never use it again. This was the only reason I allowed you to be out on your own,” the old man says with firmness in his voice.

I broke my promise. The reason seems almost pointless when compared to this. Despite the thickness in the back of my throat, I nod in agreement. I apologize, but my voice is a whisper beyond the whir of the ceiling fan.

Yoshimura ignores my attempt at regret. He knows I don’t really mean it. “I think it will benefit you to return to Anteiku. I will allow you to continue working with your previous employer, but I will ask that you check in with Touka before you leave here.” He turns his attention to the blue-haired girl in question. “Do you agree with these conditions, Touka?”

“It’s not like I have much of a choice,” she says with a deep huff. “Just know that I’m not responsible for beating her ass, if she steps out of line.”

I pout my lips. “I thought we were friends.”

She scoffs in annoyance, which incites a laugh from me. Yoshimura simply smiles, but I know this conversation is far from over. He clears his voice to catch our attention and continues on.

“Your house arrest is not necessarily the main priority here. At the moment, Yomo is looking for Ken Kaneki. The plan is for Anteiku to take him back from Aogiri,” he explains.

This must be the name of the group that took Kaneki and destroyed the shop. I realize this means Touka’s brother is in league with them. I’ve never heard of them before. I wonder if Itori may know something?

“Do you want to save Ken Kaneki as well?”

I feel conflicted with this. “I don’t know him very well. Honestly, if Itori hadn’t told me his name, I never would have even looked twice at the shy male I met here yesterday.” I don’t care enough to save him. “But, I am a member of Anteiku. He’s family, and family protects their own.”

“Very well,” Yoshimura says. “I will call upon your help, when we hear news of his whereabouts.”

“Think about this, before you make a decision. Mirai is not fit to help. She doesn’t need to throw herself into this fight without knowing the consequences. She could go berserk again,” Touka expresses.

I don’t blame her for feeling this way. She knows what I am capable of. I’m weak in this form. I’d more than likely use it again, if an opponent stronger than me engages me.

“I agree with you, Touka. She’s not ready,” Yoshimura says quietly. “But, you will be there to help her if things go south. If you see her use anything but her bikaku, I will pull her from the party. Be patient until then. I ask this of the two of you.”

“We will,” Touka and I agree.

I have a feeling this week is going to be hectic.

* * *

 

A few days later, we hear news from Yomo. Kaneki has been found. I sit with Touka and Hinami in an upstairs room, on orders from Yoshimura. Each of us are eager to find out where Aogiri is hiding him.

There is an odd silence between us – Kaya and Enji keep the television on, but it doesn’t help. The news talks about the situation in the 11th ward, regarding Aogiri and the CCG. I try to tune it out, not really interested in their affairs. My head falls back onto the backboard of the couch as I sigh.

Nishiki offers Touka and I a machine bought coffee, which I accept. He orders Touka to calm down, but I know that it won’t help. She cares a lot for Kaneki. So many others in this room do too.

“That guy isn’t as weak as he looks,” Nishiki tries to assure her. He takes a drink of his coffee, obviously trying to hide his sullen expression.

I pat Hinami on the head as a sign to show her that I am here, and that she’s not the only one who is trying to stay composed. Everyone in this room is nervous. Their eyes speak volumes over how they appear. I know that they’re eager to jump head first into a fight, just to save Kaneki. He should be grateful to have a family like them.

The sound of footsteps brings me to attention. Yoshimura enters the room, closing the door gently behind him.

“Is everyone here?” He places his travel hat over his chest like a gentleman. The room is silent in anticipation for what he’s gathered us to say.

“Several people will be arriving a bit later, but let’s start without them.” He steps into the room and continues. “Let’s talk about the problems in the 11th ward. We should discuss Anteiku’s response.”

Not this again. I guess I should’ve been listening to the news. Leave it to Kaya to prep us before the mission. I honestly found no reason to be interested in it, but I guess since Kaneki is with them, Aogiri’s business is our own.

I watch Yoshimura move behind Kaya and Enji. “But first, I have one thing I’d like to say about Kaneki, who has been abducted.” He has the room’s attention now. “I don’t think we’ll be able to have any more contact with Kaneki-kun.”

My body trembles in shock. Does this mean that he’s dead? I don’t understand why Aogiri would take him if they had planned to kill him. This makes no sense. Both Kaya and Enji look like they know something, but I am more concerned with Touka and Hinami. Both of them knew Kaneki better than the others did.

“Hey, you old bastard.” Nishiki interrupts the silence of the room. “Don’t say such vague bullshit.”

Yoshimura continues to ignore our desperate stares. This gives me the impression that it’s true. Kaneki is dead. Nishiki saying it out loud even sounds so untrue. Then again, something is being kept a secret.

“Does your conclusion have something to do with Aogiri’s recent plans? There is still so much we don’t know about them, but somehow I doubt they’d just kill him without cause. They came here and kidnaped him. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“I can’t conclude whether he’s dead or alive,” Yoshimura admits. I somehow thought so. “It’s possible that he can be saved, if he’s safe. But, this time, the worst case scenario is also possible.”

Nishiki asks the question I know we’re all still wondering. “We’re going aren’t we? To save him. Right?”

“Aogiri Tree, is made up of ghouls who live only for the sake of fighting,” Yoshimura explains. I am happy to finally hear about them. In a few hours, I hope to be able to tear them apart. “Slipping into their stronghold and helping Kaneki-kun is not a simple matter. Besides that, we can’t disregard the movement of the CCG. They will probably make their move soon. I think that a unit meant to wipe out Aogiri Tree will be deployed to the 11th ward soon. If that happens, then we won’t be able to interfere anymore. Even if we went to save him, the chances of us being totally annihilated are more than enough. Honestly, it’s too dangerous.”

I want to scoff at his concerns. The CCG doesn’t scare me at all. I’ve fought and killed many of them in the past. I don’t care if they show up. It will end just the same for them as it did for the Doves in the 5th ward who crossed my path.

Nishiki is the only one to speak up. “What are you saying? You’re just planning to abandon him?”

Yoshimura bows his head. I assume it does. So much for family. Touka suddenly dismisses my concerns.

“I’m going,” she says. I glance at her in shock. “What was the policy of this shop again? Manager, if you’re not going, then I’ll go alone.”

I snort in annoyance. “Don’t be stupid, Touka. I’ll go with you. Besides, I already said I would.”

She looks at me in relief. Both Hinami and Nishiki quickly agree with me. I pat the young girl’s head with a smile. I guess we’re all ready to die for him.

“Touka-chan, Nishiki-kun, Mirai-chan.” The old man gets our attention. “I’d like to say something so don’t misunderstand me,” he says. “I had intended to go after Kaneki-kun since the very beginning. I just wanted you to understand that I could not guarantee your survival. But, I understand your feelings. If you’d like to rescue Kaneki-kun then please put your life on the line. In exchange, Yomo-kun and I will protect you with all our power.”

He gives us a moment to process this information before continuing. “Anteiku’s policy is to help our fellow ghouls. So can you do that?”

“We can,” the four of us answer without hesitation. I’ll help no matter what happens.

Yoshimura explains that Kaya is going to help as well. She will be his backup. He mentions that another support member will join the party, and allows them into the room. This person is a man with bright blue hair. He wears a gentle smile on his face as he stands in front of us.

Nishiki and Touka jump on guard, almost like they’re ready to kill him. They call him Tsukiyama. I’ve never heard of him before, but it seems like the two of them do. They mention that he shouldn’t be alive, which leads me to believe they’ve tried to kill him before. I ask Hinami about him, but she replies that it’s best not to know. I take her word for it and ignore their conversation.

Yomo comes in shortly after, then Itori and Uta follow. I am surprised to see them here. Itori winks at me as she enters, giving the old man something in a large folder. There’s no doubt she has information on Aogiri, but I wonder what the manager gave her in return for her help. The woman is something else entirely.

Uta gives Yoshimura a bag with something from his shop inside it. I hope it’s new masks, but I assume it’s a disguise to help us infiltrate Aogiri’s stronghold. The manager puts me in Yomo’s party with Touka and Nishiki. Uta and Tsukiyama will be joining us, since Yomo is expected to watch over the strange man. We are soon dismissed and leave the room in small groups.

I walk with Touka while stretching my muscles. My body is stiff from the recent fight, but I’m better now. Honestly, I am excited to be allowed to hunt again.


	3. Run and Hide

A ghoul with a rinkaku type kagune manages to impale me through the shoulder. It tears from the muscle, spurting ribbons of blood as I detach it with my kagune and put distance between us. My body doubles over into a bow, clearly not use to this kind of abuse. This isn’t good. I dig my fingers into the fabric of my uniform, very unhappy with this outcome. Several ghouls from Aogiri Tree surround me, each similar to the next. They’re easy to figure out from the CCG, not because they are ghouls, but because of the unique clothing they wear; red cloaks and demon faced masks. Mine, regrettably lies broken into small shards on the concrete from my 6 foot drop to the second floor.

They all know I don’t belong with them. Their group leader – the rinkaku ghoul – was able to tell the difference. I have a diverse scent. The moment they smelled it; the rich aroma of coffee, they took out their kagune and attacked me. I am compromised, and only because Touka failed to keep her emotions intact. Her worry over Kaneki got Nishiki and I both hurt. A ghoul with a ukaku type kagune had ambushed us near the roof. Nishiki protected Touka from their bullets, but I wasn’t able to dodge in time. Two pierced me in the chest and stomach, knocking me over the side of the stairs. Now here I am, a story down and separated from the others.

I dodge and counter attack the rinkaku user, as they thrust their bright red tentacles at me. I manage to sever another, and push off the floor into a run. They swing at me again, but I cartwheel out of the way and thrust my own kagune at them. It takes off their head from the neck and sprays blood onto the floor. I watch their head bounce and roll from the body, revealing a youthful face as their mask falls away. Too bad; he had a sort life.

The others take no time at all to dispatch. I am lucky that none of them had a ukaku type kagune; their speed is hard to keep up with. Not to mention, their bullets seriously hurt. I pull the two from my chest and drop them onto the floor. They shatter and deteriorate into clouds of red dust. It’s almost beautiful, if not for the amount of blood I am losing. The wound is rather shallow, but not to complicate matters, I tear off an arm from a dead ghoul and eat their meat. It tastes course and bitter, but my wounds will heal regardless.

I need to regroup with Touka and Nishiki now. After nearly 3 days of being inside Aogiri we have a clue on Kaneki. Yomo split us up, and last I heard, our group chose the roof in this building to start our search. By now, I assume the ghouls who attacked us are dead. The others should be waiting for me at the top. I kick off the second set of steps and use the momentum to bounce my way from wall to wall up the narrow staircase. I arrive quickly at the floor I fell from to see Nishiki surrounded by ghouls from Aogiri. Where is Touka?

The blond sees me almost immediately. He orders me to help Touka, who is on the roof. Her brother is the ghoul who shot me down. I hate to leave him, but I want to beat this brat myself. He’s done more than enough to incite my anger with him. As I jump away from a ghoul who tries to attack me, I don’t worry about wasting my time with them. I run at full speed to the roof just in time to see Touka and her brother are still there.

To my horror, Ayato is eating her kagune. She screams out in pain, clawing and kicking at the concrete as he tears pieces of her flesh and muscle from her shoulder. I can’t allow him to continue this. I run at him, jumping onto his back once I am in range. Ayato quickly tries to pry my arms away from his neck, but I tighten my grip and bury my teeth into the soft flesh of his shoulder. He hisses in pain, grabbing a hand full of my hair as he jerks to his feet. This hurts so much; my scalp is on fire and the blood in my mouth tastes bitter and metallic. I hold on as long as I am able to, but the exhaustion quickly gets to me – my grip slowly loosens. Ayato uses his strength to pull me over his shoulder and throw me to the ground.

I manage to quickly pull myself onto my feet, wiping his blood from my lips. “You taste terrible, brat.” I spit out his flesh.

He seems to recognize me by this and immediately draws his ukaku type kagune, shooting the vermillion colored bullets at high speed at me. My own kagune helps to block most of the shards, but a few lodge into my skin. The wounds are shallow, so I focus on dodging the bigger pieces for now. He doesn’t let up, nor shows signs of becoming exhausted. I have to get closer in order to do harm to him, so I risk the chance and run at him, using my tail to knock away the bullets in my path.

Once I am close enough, I swing my tail at him. He is fast enough to block it with his wings, but I had planned for this. I connect a punch to his stomach, causing him to cough. He recovers quickly and swings at me, but I cross my arms in front of my face and keep his fist from hitting me. My fingers wrap around his slender wrist in order to pull him off balance. I split my tail into 2, feeling his kagune sink into my weakened tail. The balance of power to my kagune is off in this state, but I have no other choice. I may just lose part of it to Ayato’s hardened wings, but I don’t care. The second tail curls beneath my arms and impales him in the stomach. This seems to have the opposite effect I had in mind.

Ayato growls at me; kakugan flaring at me like fire. His wings pull from my kagune, shooting large and sharp bullets into my skin. He grabs my hair as I sink to the ground and roughly smashes his knee into my face. My nose is easily crushed. I cry out in absolute pain. This hurts like hell.

“Stupid weak bitch.” A plethora of bullets pelt me. Ayato continues to attack me, even as I curl up on the ground unable to protect myself. The pieces feel like fire in my skin. But, the torture shortly ceases. Touka weakly calls out to me, begging her brother to stop.

Ayato leaves me alone. I force my body to move, just enough to see around myself. The shards make it hard to do this comfortably; some of them dig further into me. I see Touka on her side. Ayato is kneeled down in front of her, just watching her with a soft expression. Does he mean to kill her? No, it seems like he doesn’t want to. His kagune spreads behind him and slowly crystalizes. I realize I am wrong.

“Don’t do it,” I cry out. My body feels numb and cold. I can tell that my kagune is ascending. It slowly twists and crawls up my back, forming the armor I am not supposed to use. I can’t stop it, but I really want to protect Touka from him. Sadly, I do not.

Ayato shoots the familiar bullets at her, but before they hit their intended target, Touka vanishes. A figure appears near me, carrying Touka in their arms. I recognize them as Kaneki. What happened to him? His hair is stark white, and his posture is anything but scared. He almost smells like me; like gutter filth and blood.

Kaneki speaks with Touka until she passes out in his arms. At this time, Ayato shoots him in the shoulders. I call out to him, hearing Nishiki do the same. However, Kaneki brushes it off as nothing and tells us that he’s alright. He puts Touka down beside me, and asks us to take care of her. I grab her hand, wanting nothing more than this to be over. I am nothing more than a worthless excuse for a ghoul. Tears sting at my eyes. This can’t be.

I have no clue how the battle with Kaneki and Ayato begins, or even if Kaneki is winning. My pride is hurt; everything hurts. I cry in annoyance, punching my fist into the concrete. The pain is nothing compared to how I feel. How am I supposed to protect anyone like this?

At some point during this night, Yomo finds us. He lifts Touka, placing her on his back. Nishiki helps me to stand, despite his injuries. He and I help one another walk to the meeting place Yoshimura set up for us. We regroup with the others, but I feel unhappy with myself. My family is alive, but I almost don’t care. What good did this do? We didn’t even save Kaneki; he saved himself. I sit on the ground and begin to pull the bullets from my skin. Each one hurts worse than the other.

Banjou meets up with us soon after. The group talks amongst themselves, but I don’t listen. Each bullet I take out makes me more and more angry. It’s not until I hear Touka ask Kaneki about his hair do I listen. His reply shocks me.

“I’m not going back to Anteiku. There are things I want to do.” The hell was the point in all this? We should have just left him. He looks out onto the remains of the Aogiri Tree hideout and continues. “I need to prepare for that, and I’m going to get stronger. There are also lots of things I want to find out. I just don’t have enough time.”

Banjou calls his name. “This time we were saved thanks to you. I would like to help you too. Whether I’m being a shield or a gofer, anything is fine. You probably don’t need me though.”

I am surprised to see that Kaneki agrees to take his help. The man known as Tsukiyama also offers to help. The once shy make allows him too. I wonder if he will agree to let me join as well? I need the chance to become stronger. I crave it.

Before I have the opportunity to ask, Touka beats me to it. I figure if she does join, then I will be able to as well. I wait my turn to ask, but Kaneki makes this decision for me. He tells us no. I am shocked. Why the hell am I not allowed to go with him? He tells Touka and I that the café will be short staffed without him – Nishiki is shot down too. Touka leaves in anger, but I won’t have it. I stand and glare at him.

“The hell is wrong with you?” I notice that his eyes go soft at this. “Touka cares for you, idiot. She only wants to help. There’s no reason to abandon her like that brat did.”

Kaneki smiles at me. I know it’s fake. “Take care of her for me, Mirai. She has you at her side.”

I hate this. Tears again sting at my eyes. Am I upset because of this, or am I about to cry because I am being forced to stay back? I believe it’s the latter.

I turn and walk away, going the opposite way of Touka and the others. I need time to think this over. Weakness is not appealing; it hurts terribly. I only want to get rid of it. I want to continue to live. Somehow, I will find a way to become stronger.

“Fancy seeing you here, Mirai-chan.” A familiar voice pulls me from my thoughts. The feminine man from Aogiri stands before me. Instantly, I fear the worse and activate my kagune. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and waves his finger at me. “As much as I’d enjoy it, I’m afraid that I have no time to play with you. My name is Nico by the way. It’s a pleasure.

“What do you want?”

He ignores my question and slowly circles me. I have no idea what he’s doing, but I have an odd feeling he’s sizing me up. “You’re too cute, Mirai-chan. I really should have kept my mouth shut about you.”

I narrow my eyes, following him as he moves in front of me. The hell is he talking about? I assume he knows what I intend to ask, because he clarifies it for me.

“Some big name ghouls are eager to meet you,” he says with a smile. Nico leans forward and runs his fingers through my hair, scratching at my scalp with his sharp elegant nails. I have to reframe from biting at him. “That’s a good girl, pussy cat.”

My stomach feels ill at the mention of this. He’s referring to my name; the one the CCG calls me – Alley Cat. How did he find out? I need to keep him away from me. I curl my nails and strike at him, but he dodges and puts some distance between us. At least I don’t feel as nervous now.

Nico laughs at me. “I want you for myself, but I’m patient. For now I’ll leave you with some advice; run and hide. Aogiri Tree is coming for you.”

Fear sends cold chills through my body. I want to know what Nico knows about me. How did he figure me out? I’ve been cautious. But now, Aogiri knows. What could they want with me? I am curious, but not enough to go searching for answers. Run and hide; I plan to do just as Nico suggests.


	4. Goodbye Halcyon Days

Someone is following me; their scent is almost familiar. I can barely pick up on it because of the rain, but every once in a while, the strong wind carries it to me. I remember that the first time I smelled it had been a week ago – the raid on the 11th ward was almost a month prior to this evening. It scares me to think of this. Nico had warned me. Could it be that Aogiri Tree has found me?

I push these thoughts into the back of my mind as I leave the station in Toshima. If it is a member of theirs, I assume they’d come and take me by now. There’s no use in waiting when I am so easy to approach. I can’t just up and run since my family is here. My fears will just have to be buried until I can figure out what to do without putting Touka and the others in jeopardy.

It’s late, but my job keeps me from returning to Anteiku. I slip out my phone, texting a quick message to Touka. I let her know that I’ll be home once I speak with my boss. Her shop is a block away, but I decide to make a quick stop first. I feel exhausted and in need of a drink. A small yawn leaves my mouth as I enter an all-night convenience store.

I grab a small bottle of water and a cheap bento box from the display case in the back of the store. I take it up front to the store clerk; a young girl with lively eyes. She rings me up, and puts my items into a plastic bag. Her attention is on me as I watch the television behind her – more rain is in the forecast.

“Is this any good?” I raise a brow, and address her question with one of my own. I’m not exactly sure what she means.

“The bento,” she clarifies.

I nearly gag at the thought; of course not. Human food tastes so terrible, but I know the truth will make her suspicious of me. I don’t trust humans, and more importantly, I hate pretending I am one.

I force and smile on my face and nod my head in agreement. “It’s my favorite.”

The store clerk gives me a gentle laugh, trying to print my receipt. I nearly tell her to forget it, but she assures me that the machine is just slow. In the meantime, I occupy myself with a magazine from the rack near the counter. I hear the shop bell ring, but I pay it no attention until I feel someone behind me. They don’t smell like the person who has been following me, but the pungent aroma of fear literally pours from them. It feels like they’re breathing down the back of my neck.

I huff in annoyance and look over my shoulder at them. There are two, both clearly male. They’re wearing some kind of black ski mask over their faces; the eye holes are poorly cut out. A gun is lifted into my face, and before I have time to react, the store clerk screams out in fear. All hell breaks loose from this point on.

The man behind the one holding the gun in my face orders her to shut up. He waves his gun at her, and points it to the cash register, wanting her to open it. The store clerk with the lively eyes tries to explain that without a purchase the register won’t open, but he doesn’t listen. He raises his voice, which only makes her more frightened of him. I really don’t feel like dealing with this type of mess today.

“What do you want me to do with this one?” The robber in front of me seems to be new at this. He is nervous, but his grip on the gun makes it shake as he stares at me with uncertainty in his eyes.

The man in charge waves his hand at us. “I don’t care. Take her in the back, so she can’t interfere. If she does, kill her.”

I want to scoff at him. Bullets can’t do harm to me. However, if he shoots me, the three will know that I am a ghoul. I decide to listen to their commands, but I don’t intend to play scared if I’m not.

“Did you hear me, bitch?” The leader of the two pulls me from my thoughts. “I said to follow my friend to the back.” He spits in my face as he shouts.

I wipe my cheek in annoyance. “I heard you.”

His gun slams into the side of my head, making me very mad. I may just as well rip his guts from his stomach. However, I choose to comply. I walk in front of the nervous robber to the back of the store. He orders me to get down on my knees and face the display cases. I do so, and notice in the reflection that my kakugan are activated. I am extremely pissed off, but I need to calm down before one of them notices. I close my eyes and calm my rapid breathing.

I could easily kill them all, and maybe eat one of them. It’s been a few weeks since my last meal and I necessarily don’t need to eat, but I crave something fresh; something other than meat that is left over from the corpses of humans who have committed suicide. My mouth waters at this. But, I can’t. I take a deep, rigid breath and listen to the sounds around me. I hear the man behind me, speaking to himself in a quiet panic. And I hear the gun as it goes off twice, echoing around the room.

My eyes snap open. The metallic scent of blood is fresh. The robber at the front of the store shouts for his friend to ditch the gun and follow him, which he does. They flee in fear, leaving me alone. I don’t hear the store clerk, which means the smell of blood is coming from her. Is she dead?

I stand to my feet and slowly move to the front of the store. The clerk is behind the counter, lying in a wet patch of her own sweet smelling blood. There’s a bullet wound in her neck; the second is in her chest. She’s choking to death, it sounds like. The young clerk knows what I am – my eyes are still red. I can tell she’s scared, but I assure her that I’m not going to eat her.

“Asuka-chan, that’s cute.” I read her name tag. She begins to cry, but I silence her. “Don’t be scared of me. I’m not going to eat you, I swear.”

She’s far too pretty to send home in chunks. I assume her parents will have a nice and quiet funeral for her. They will want to see her just as she is. Closed caskets are too depressing, in my opinion.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you. I can at least watch over you until the police arrive, so no ghouls are tempted to eat your body,” I offer her. It’s a useless thing to do, especially for a human. But, I feel like I owe her this.

Asuka looks so pretty in death. Her eyes are fading, but they still have such life in them. I wonder how this is possible, to be at peace while dying. She lifts her shaking hand and points to something above us. I realize she means the store camera; it’s been recording this whole time. How interesting. This human wants to protect me.

I leave her for a second to take the tape cassette from the TV. When I return, she is gone. Her eyes are dead, but she looks content. I made a promise to her, so I grab my bag from the counter and leave the store. Across the street, I chuck the bag with the bento and tape into the trash, and slide out my phone. I make a quick call to the police station, then decide to wait in the alley until they retrieve her.

The police arrive minutes later and tape off the entire area. I am lucky that it’s late, because there are no people around. Asuka isn’t picked clean by random ghouls and I am free to leave. I quickly send a text to Touka, telling her that I got caught up at the station. It’s been a long night. I decide to return back to Anteiku and call my boss in the morning. As I take a much needed drink from the water I bought, a familiar smell catches me off guard.

Is this a joke? The person is still following me, even after witnessing what just happened. I sniff at the air, trying to pin point where the smell is coming from. I’m not going to stay in fear of this much longer. The air is clear, so I find them with ease. On the roof of the convenience store is a person. I stand at the edge of the alley way and hide my body in the shadow of the opening. I wonder if they are going to confront me tonight?

I peak around the corner again, but the person is gone. My guess is obviously wrong. At least I can return home without the fear of being attacked tonight. I huff a sigh of  relief, and move further down the dimly lit alleyway. But, a sudden noise makes me jump in fear. The fire escape above me rattles, almost like something jumped down onto it. I shove my back against the opposite wall, ready for a fight. It doesn’t come, but the sound of footsteps does. My body trembles in shock as I notice a familiar teen leaning over the railing above me. It’s him; Ayato.

Does this mean that Aogiri is really after me? I flee before a fight engages between us. Ayato is too strong for me to beat. The idea to lose him in a crowd of people comes to mind. He might just kill all of them to get to me, but at least in the panic I can escape. I choose to lead him to the station. It’s a busy night, so I’m putting all my cards on it being packed.

It is, and to my luck, I manage to squeeze onto the train heading for Nerima. The ride is 2 hours long, but at least Ayato won’t try to get me here. There are humans all around me, but I don’t feel necessarily safe. In front of me are 2 members of the CCG. I dip my head low, and grab the handrail as the train begins to move. Too bad there’s not a seat to sit in.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing? Hiding yourself on a train with all these humans. Are you trying to get caught?”

I jump in shock at the voice. He followed me here. Ayato is so close to me. His large hand falls over mine, and pins it to the handrail. I pull at it, but his annoyed voice stops me with a threat.

“Go ahead and make a scene,” he encourages me. “I don’t mind killing every one of these damn humans. Test me, bitch.”

I consider doing just this. I can escape if Ayato is busy with the Doves. Hundreds will unfortunately die – Yoshimura won’t be happy with this. The me from several years ago would have done it, but the me from now is scared to lose her family. My heart beats roughly in my chest. I want this to be a dream; a really bad nightmare that I can wake up from. I feel like breaking down.

“Are you okay, miss?” The younger of the two Doves has my attention.

I glance at him, looking him over. He’s kind of cute; short black hair and pretty blue eyes. I wonder if he tastes just as good. He seems to notice that I am staring, because his pale cheeks dust in red and he moves his eyes to the floor. I chuckle at this.

“I’m not very comfortable with big crowds of people, but it’s late. I didn’t want to risk walking back home alone,” I tell him. A gentle smile pulls at my lips.

A hand suddenly curls around my stomach. I didn’t forget that Ayato is behind me, but he obviously doesn’t like to be ignored. This is too much, however. The kid will get the wrong idea, and I just told him I am alone. His senior apologizes for him, and the two return to what they had been doing.

“The hell is your problem, brat?”

Ayato pulls me to him, inciting a cough from me. His hold is tight, and I’d hate to imagine myself alone with him. He orders me to turn around. I have no choice but to listen. There are eyes on us, especially those of the younger Dove. I hear them amongst the others, his senior officer scolding him for butting into our business. The term boyfriend comes up, and I shiver is disgust.

The blue-haired teen leans his mouth closer to my ear. “Act natural, or I swear I’ll kill them all.”

I don’t like this idea, but I decide to go with it. I move forward and lean my head against his shoulder. Ayato growls in annoyance, but the majority of the people in here believe we are dating thanks to him, so it’s on him. His arm drops to his side, but his other is still draped over the handrail, keeping me close and him from losing his balance. I feel him dig through my coat until he finds my phone and pockets it. I suppose he means to keep me from reaching out to the others.

Several minutes pass like this. I breath softly against him, taking in his scent with each inhale of air. Ayato smells nice, but he’s a cold blooded killer. The scent of blood is faint, but it’s there. I can hardly stand the silence between us, however.

“What do you want with me? There’s nothing special about me that could benefit you. Is this what Aogiri Tree wants you to do?”

His shoulder jerks and knocks against my face. It really hurts, but I doubt he cares. “That’s none of your damn business. The only reason I haven’t tore your tongue out, is because I was ordered not to.” Ayato shifts his body so that he is able to put a little distance between us. I look up into his eyes as he continues. “Keep quiet until I tell you to speak. At Zoshiki station, you’ll follow me off the train. We’re going to the 11th ward, so don’t fucking try anything.”

A 2 hour ride with Ayato this close to me; how pleasant. This seems to drag on. I want to ask so many questions, but somehow I know that once we’re off this train, I’ll be at his mercy. I watch as many of the passengers leave the car; a few enter, and even the 2 Doves leave us. Our stop comes at last. Ayato grabs my arm and drags me off the train. I fake a smile to some of the people we push passed and silently follow the teen through the empty city.

I’ve been here once before, but even then I didn’t have much time to look at the scenery. It’s as I expected it to be, desolate. I don’t know which part of the city we’re in, but it’s almost completely abandoned. Each of the houses are small, nearly identical if not for the chunks of brick and wood missing from some of them. This must be a residential area, somewhere away from the bustling city. From some of the windows, I see the silhouettes of people. Could they be the ghouls of Aogiri Tree?

“Are these being used as shelters for the ghouls in Aogiri?” I recall there being a lot of ghouls in the building they were using as a headquarters, but I don’t think the CCG cleaned them all out.

I look to Ayato for the answer, but he ignores me. I suppose it doesn’t matter. He drags me to a house and pries open the door. It’s cold and dark inside, but Ayato walks across the room and turns on a oil lamp, illuminating the room. The room we’re in is the living room and it looks terrible. The furniture is covered in thick layers of dust, and it appears as if the electricity doesn’t work.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” I joke, blowing a cobweb away from my face.

Ayato huffs in annoyance. “I don’t use this place much, but while I wait on word from my superiors, you’ll just have to deal with it.”

He orders me to follow him. I do so, and step into a bedroom. The windows are mostly boarded up, but the moon light still reaches inside. It’s not as bad in here as the rest of the house. I imagine Ayato uses this room more than any of the others. The bed is in decent shape, and at least the covers are clean.

“Take off your clothes,” Ayato orders me.

I am mortified by this. Does he really expect me to get naked in front of him? He seems so young. I wonder if he’s even seen a naked girl before?

“Don’t you want to sit down first? If you want to watch, you should at least be comfortable.” I can’t help it. The thought of seeing Touka’s little brother nervous cracks me up. Too bad he doesn’t think so.

Ayato clears the room and kicks me in the stomach. I hit the floor in pain, but a laugh slips through. His kick lacks the strength it usually has. This makes me laugh harder.

“I’m not complaining, but it feels like your losing your touch. Maybe there’s some truth to what I said,” I say through the pain.

This earns me another kick. He doesn’t pull his punches this time, so to speak. I cover my mouth, but blood still pours passed my lips. This is what I’m talking about. It’s not the same without a little pain.

Ayato stops with the abuse and slams the oil lamp onto a table near the bed. “There are clothes on the bed. Change into them. I’ll be back to collect your old ones, including whatever shit you’re carrying with you.”

He leave before I can disagree. I don’t have much with me besides my phone, and he already took that. I can hear him in the other room, talking to someone on the phone. He’s loud, but I don’t hear much. I suppose I need to do as he asks, however. I don’t think my stomach can handle another volley of abuse.

I wipe the blood from my lips and lift myself onto my feet. Ayato leaves me with a pair of sweat pants, so I keep my tank on without the bra. The extra clothing I leave on the floor for Ayato to take. I’m drained. I lie down on the bed, and try to get some sleep. It doesn’t come easy, but eventually I do.

My beautiful days beyond this point are sure to be over.  


End file.
